A friend gave me a black and white Keffiyeh he had purchased in Jordan.
I wear it like this. --------------------->
I never gave much thought about what I was "saying" by wearing the scarf. At first, of course, I acknowledged its cultural significance (people in arid climates (a.k.a the Middle East) wear them to provide protection against wind, sand, and sun), but over time I had come to see at as just the-scarf-that-goes-with-everything-and-always-looks-great. I've been wearing it for a few years now (under-the-radar, I suppose) so it came as a surprise to me that twice IN ONE DAY the scarf became the uncomfortable subject of conversation with strangers.
Last Sunday I went to the christening of a friend's baby at a lovely Episcopalian church on the Gold Coast. That morning I picked out a vintage black and yellow cotton dress, perfect for the fall, except that it had short sleeves. Anticipating a drafty church and knowing my body temperature's mercurial nature, I grabbed the scarf for warmth, just to be safe. And you know what? It looked great.
So we're in the part of the mass when you're supposed to greet everyone around you and say, "Peace be with you." It's actually my favorite part of mass because it's one of the rare opportunities you're allowed to speak and be social during the mass' entirety. You get to look at everyone around you, maybe get a little stretch in there...
Well, I turn around, and as I'm shaking this woman's hand, giving her the peace spiel, she leans in and says to me in a not-too-cheery but also not-too-grim way, "Glad to see you're supporting the Palestinians." Huh?!? is what my facial expression must have said. "Your scarf, the black and white is traditionally worn by them." Ohhhhh... I know a few more words were exchanged between us, but all I can remember was thinking, What was her tone? Did she mean she was ACTUALLY glad about me wearing the scarf or was she offended by it? Does she disapprove that I'm wearing this in a church because it's worn by Palestinians? In the span of a few seconds, during which we're all supposed to say the same banal (but pleasant) message, this woman sitting behind me drops some serious shit.
I turned backed around to face the altar. I had plenty of time to think while the priest was taking care of communion and I needed to wrap my head around what happened (no pun intended). Now, was this woman being hostile? (If so, her timing is ironic.) And would someone wearing lush fabrics like green velvet and flamboyant, chunky jewelry (which is what she was wearing, now that I think about it) be hostile at church? And on second thought she seems like the kind of woman who would like Laurel Burch designs and do I think that a Laurel Burch-lover would really be offended by my keffiyeh? Perhaps I need to clarify things with her, but how? When will I get another chance during mass to talk to her?!
Laurel Burch design ----------------------------->
So, while we're standing in our pews, waiting to be ushered into the aisle to line up for communion, I turn back to her, hoping to get a better sense of what she meant. Basically, was this woman being malicious or not?
"I'm sorry, I don't think I understood what you were trying to say to me."
Now, I saw her smile. "I just spent some time in the Middle East, specifically the West Bank. What a lovely place, if you ever can, you should visit. I support the Palestinians and am glad to see you wearing that scarf."
Oh, well that clears things up. Phew! Yes, peace in the Middle East. Of course! I smile, I nod, I feel better now.
Even so, that episode must have made me a little less keffiyeh confident. It must have jumbled up the keffiyeh signal I was sending out, making it impossible for someone to ignore me. Because later that same day I went to buy something from the corner store and the gentleman behind the counter said, upon giving me my change, "I never thought I would see people wearing MY FATHER'S SCARF as a fashion statement."
"Oh, huh," I muttered. And with that, I realized, it's time to put the scarf-that-goes-with-everything-and-always-looks-great into clothing retirement a.k.a the back of the closet. Or at least until I know how to handle the comments it invites.
Well, Open Books is finally celebrating the grand opening of their flagship store and literacy center! The 2-day event includes author panels, readings, and other literary stimulation. To learn more about the event, click here to read my article on Examiner.
After each speaker, the emcee would casually mention the Malört girls at the far end of the bar, how we gotta try the Malört and show our Malört face. Malört this, Malört that. He had a devilish twinkle in his eye; He was pushing the Malört so hard that I got the feeling the invitation was more like a dare, that drinking this Malört would put hair on my chest (if I were a boy). It would be a rite of passage. Time would be referred to as B.M. (Before Malört) and A.M. (After Malört).
Glaring Error Alert!
The thought of using a tissue that's stuck between couch cushions doesn't bother me.
This weekend I saw two great shows: Girls at the Empty Bottle and Dirty Projectors at the Bottom Lounge. Given the nature of the venues and the music, I gotta ask, what is the deal with hipsters at concerts? Man, they are a predictable bunch!
With the change in seasons and a case of the sniffles, I've been reminded of all the mocosos (snotty children) that passed through my classroom who needed a little instruction on effective nose-blowing and tissue etiquette... There are even some adults who could use this mini-lesson, so here it is:
2. Gently press one nostril closed and blow through the other nostril, emptying the nasal cavity. Switch nostrils and repeat. (You'd be surprised how many people DON'T go with this one-at-a-time method! It would be an understatement to say it provides just an extra oopmh. That's like saying installing a nitrous kit makes your car go just a little faster.)
I was totally engrossed by the movie Tyson, which I watched last night on demand.
I just started writing for Examiner.com as a Chicago Literary Events Examiner. I know, it sounds very official. It is. 
Just remembered that the Girls show is this Thursday (11/12) at The Empty Bottle!
9.1 (out of 10) by pitchfork.com
Hmm, what's this? It's a Ford Crown Victoria that's been customized into a permanent convertible. Who would DO such a thing? Let me take a closer look at the license plates. Oh my, they've got vanity plates. AUTOMEX. Go figure.
Well, look at what they've done here. Isn't that creative? Take out the windows, solder the doors shut, saw off the back of the chassis and voila! Open-air seating. The bench and singular seat belt for all of the rear passengers is very amusement-park-bumper-boats. How exhilarating! (But even bumper boats have headrests. And not to provide comfort, because headrests are never actually comfortable, but to protect your neck from snapping back. So this mexicar gets low ratings for safety.) 
That book is HUGE! I can't imagine lugging that around with me when I traveled. She's going to have a tough time packing THAT. You know what she should have done? She should have done a little online research on where she wanted to go, got books for just THOSE places, which would be smaller and more detailed anyway. And then you could keep the France and Italy ones packed up while you were in Germany. You wouldn't be carrying information for places you weren't going to go to either. Why lug ALL of Europe around Europe? And maybe by the time she had figured out more specifically where she wanted to go, Let's Go would have published their 2010 versions. Because, Let's Admit It, everyone wants the latest edition.
Spotted this on a menu at a wine bar:
I wear it like this. --------------------->
I turned backed around to face the altar. I had plenty of time to think while the priest was taking care of communion and I needed to wrap my head around what happened (no pun intended). Now, was this woman being hostile? (If so, her timing is ironic.) And would someone wearing lush fabrics like green velvet and flamboyant, chunky jewelry (which is what she was wearing, now that I think about it) be hostile at church? And on second thought she seems like the kind of woman who would like Laurel Burch designs and do I think that a Laurel Burch-lover would really be offended by my keffiyeh? Perhaps I need to clarify things with her, but how? When will I get another chance during mass to talk to her?!
But on the other hand, if I know that this has got to last me through another week, until I can make it to Walgreens, I'm like Scrooge with that dentifrice. "Pea-sized amount!" I shout out to my boyfriend, observing him lavishly cover all the bristles of his brush. (Don't even get me started on how he squeezes the tube!)
Side note: I know there are devices for extending the life of your tube of toothpaste but I refuse to spend $5 on a plastic utensil to help me use up all my Crest. And really, I think that even this is going too far. Don't you know how to slide the tube against the edge of the counter?! ------------------------>
Did you know that Chicago is getting a new area code? Yeah, it's 872.
